Feeling very weird this week.
Most probably due to nothing to do.
Used to being busy for the past few weeks or even months.
However, this week other than going for ICONs Camp (DAY 1 ONLY)
and a short meeting yesterday, I have no other activities.
Sadness. =(
Looking forward to next week? Not sure eh.
Still, I find us useless to go. Seriously! I see no point.
Whatever it is, I am still doing it only for a reason.
Yes, I am only doing it for HER.
I don't want disappoint them le.
Disappointing them makes me feel guilty and sad.
Just know that I have been feeling more and more emotional.
I am getting super confused of stuffs. I really don't know what to do.
My mind is telling me to do something.
However, my heart tells me not to, as I had been hurt so many times.
My mind is telling me the pros while my heart is telling me the cons.
Really don't know what to do. 左右为难啊!
Next is I really unsure if I want continue le.
I am not that tired but the passion and the things that I had been clinching on doesn't seem to be there anymore.
Oh well, maybe I am tired and really needs a break.
However, everything just seemed to fade away.
What didn't fade were all the memories. Those good and bad memories.
All I can say is I realised a lot of things just before, during and just after the EOY Examinations.
I pushed back all my thoughts, questions, things I enjoyed
and things that I had to do which are not that important compared to Exams.
I pushed it back to after exams.
I have been thinking a lot, noticing a lot and changing a lot.
As the seconds become minutes,
minutes become hours,
hours become days,
days become weeks,
weeks become months,
months become years.
I lose my passions. I really wonder how long would I take to find it back. I really wonder.
The old Rebecca had died. The new Rebecca is now left with nothing except the skin. She doesn't even have her bones left.
She has to find the old Rebecca back, before the skin decomposes. Which is very soon.
The old Rebecca have to be back. The one filled with ongoing passions, and the one who knows what to do.


