Feeling very weird this week.

Most probably due to nothing to do.

Used to being busy for the past few weeks or even months.

However, this week other than going for ICONs Camp (DAY 1 ONLY)

and a short meeting yesterday, I have no other activities.

Sadness. =(

Looking forward to next week? Not sure eh.

Still, I find us useless to go. Seriously! I see no point.

Whatever it is, I am still doing it only for a reason.

Yes, I am only doing it for HER.

I don't want disappoint them le.

Disappointing them makes me feel guilty and sad.

Just know that I have been feeling more and more emotional.

I am getting super confused of stuffs. I really don't know what to do.

My mind is telling me to do something.

However, my heart tells me not to, as I had been hurt so many times.

My mind is telling me the pros while my heart is telling me the cons.

Really don't know what to do. 左右为难啊！

Next is I really unsure if I want continue le.

I am not that tired but the passion and the things that I had been clinching on doesn't seem to be there anymore.

Oh well, maybe I am tired and really needs a break.

However, everything just seemed to fade away.

What didn't fade were all the memories. Those good and bad memories.

All I can say is I realised a lot of things just before, during and just after the EOY Examinations.

I pushed back all my thoughts, questions, things I enjoyed

and things that I had to do which are not that important compared to Exams.

I pushed it back to after exams.

I have been thinking a lot, noticing a lot and changing a lot.

As the seconds become minutes,

minutes become hours,

hours become days,

days become weeks,

weeks become months,

months become years.

I lose my passions. I really wonder how long would I take to find it back. I really wonder.

The old Rebecca had died. The new Rebecca is now left with nothing except the skin. She doesn't even have her bones left.

She has to find the old Rebecca back, before the skin decomposes. Which is very soon.

The old Rebecca have to be back. The one filled with ongoing passions, and the one who knows what to do.

Came back from Camp LEO.

I would never say it is a successful one.

My last camp of my Secondary School life and it turns out like this.

All the preparation done was just flushed into the toilet bowl.

Officers trust us and felt that we could do it.

However, we disappointed them.

Haii.

All of a sudden, today, at a point during the camp.

I just felt like crying. Haii.

I really have to thank Mr Wong, Mr You and Mrs Chia for advices and logistics.

We kept creating troubles for them. Sorry for that.

Not only them, to the CIs as well. Who had taken their time off to come down.

Without them, the maze would not be that fun and the period between 3pm to 6pm of day 1 would be extremely boring.

Was kind of sian.

Mass debrief Sec 1s, is about talking to the walls.

Talk to wall better lor. At least got echo.

Had Flag Day today.

Paired up with Jo.

Went to the table to write down particulars and stuffs.

Next went out of school.

Walked with KaiLin, Ain, Nearomon and Jo.

Walked to busstop to take 187 to 500+ market there.

In the end, we decided to alight at the Jurong West market?

Then we walked down to the old site the market there.

Splitted up on the way there,

Then we split up again. KaiLin went JP there, Jo and me went 500+ market there.

Our favourite spot eh.

CSSP also there. All the memories and fun we had. =)

Collected much more money there.

Saw CSSP peeps there.

However, don't have our school de,

because we are all down for Flag Day. HAHA!

After that, went to buy drink as we was very thirsty.

We realised that it was still early then bus-ed down to JP find Nearomon and Ain.

Then they go back school liao, when we reached.

Nevemind lor, we MRT-ed down to JE. haha!

Yea, just within a few hours and we went 5 places!

On the bus, we already felt like sleeping lor. zzzZZZzzz...

I slept at 4+am and woke up at 7am. Less than 3 hours of sleep.

Still stayed enthu during the day. HAHA!

Just reminded me of the HK trip last year.

Slept less than 2 hours and still remained hyper throughout the day,

especially during the morning hike. WOOTS~!

Will not get sufficient rest till the following tues (17/11).

Sian! But nevemind. Like what I told myself.

This is the last sprint le.Maybe last 2 laps of my Secondary School life.

Looking back on my route, I had come this far.

Although, this route that I am aiming for will be very tedious and tough.

But I will still find joy through it like what I have always did.

I will never want to disappoint them again.

I want to let them know that I am grateful of what they did for me

and that they didn't chose the wrong choice.

The last thing I could do for them. I will struggle through, no matter how tough it is.

STC'09 Group 1 !

Will upload more pics once the "stalker" give me the photos. HAHA!

Today is the last day of school.
Oh well, I think I will somehow miss the class la.
Some people droping to 4B next year. Haii.
Still have to move on.

Got back report slip today and I was totally shocked.
I seriously am.
I really didn't expect this result.
I thought I would I had did worse.
But I struggled through.
And I did it.

Actually got back the class formal photo first before report slip.
I look at what Mr Shao wrote, I was blur.
Very blur in fact.
I was somehow touched as well.
Thank you Mr Shao!
I will continue to work hard. =)

Took back the report slip,
I see and I was totally shocked.
It was a really very great leap from MYE.
Can see the difference.
From 2oth in level and 12th in class to where I am now.
Okay, don't care about the ranking.
But from 18 points to 12 points for my L1R4.
From 20 points for just SA1 to 9 points in my SA2.
I really didn't expect this.
I wished this was my 'O' level result.

Ms Ow told me I could do much better in my 'O' level.
Thank you Ms Ow!
I would really strive very hard from now on.
Knowing that there is campcraft training and fancy drill from Dec to next year,
but I would still try my best in both academic and CCA.
I think, the flame had came back.
Like what we do during fire starting in STC,
the flame came back
as all my supporters who had been feeding the fire,
blowing it and keep lighting it in order to let it come back again.

My heartfelt thanks to
my family and relatives,
my peers (you know who you are) who had always been there to catch my back when I fall,
my teachers who had been guilding me, giving me chances to shine,
and last but not least my Jies and Kors.
Really appreciate lots!
Whether I heeded your advises or not. Thanks!

What Mr Shao wrote. Thanks Mr Shao!
Will keep this forever.

3A'09
Will always be remebered,
including ALL teachers
that had taught this class. =)

Somehow, still confused.
Why has it got to be every time after exams,
I feel this way?

Maybe continuing triple pure.
It may be tough,
but I know, there are many people out there,
who are there to support me no matter what.
From my peers, to my teachers, to my family and relatives.

I promise myself to really strive hard and really do my best.
Since it ill be the final lap of my secondary school life.
I will try my best to do well in studies and CCA.
I will try my best not to disappoint people
who had their faith and confidence in me,
who had always been there supporting me,
guiding me, through thick and thin.
If I disappoint them this time round,
I think I would be the worst beast on Earth!

It will be tough, but I gotta keep going on.
Nothing is easy.
I will not give up!
Keeping my motivation in mind.

Back from Survival Training Camp (STC), it was fun!
HAHA! Especially after lunch of the first day.
Laugh like mad! Once I get the photo,
maybe I will upload it bahx??
Not sure.
Many jokers in the group.
I will remember this camp.
My last camp for my secondary school life.
Will also remember PI CARD
and apply it.
Not only that, everything that I had learnt.